SAME THING TWICE   Please stop me if I start to get old If I start to dress according to the weather Tell me if you find me blindly doing what I’m told By some patronising middle aged receptionist called Heather   And if you find they’ve got to know me in the doctors Please give me immediate advice Always tell me if I start to say the same thing twice   Let me know the day that I stop talking loud in pubs Or start to make a loud noise when I’m drinking Tell me if I’ve started keeping empty margarine tubs Or start to read the papers to find out what I’m thinking And if I smell of anything, and by this I mean absolutely Anything at all that isn’t nice Always tell me if I start to say the same thing twice   But most of all, please take me on one side if I ever Start saying things that aren’t what they used to be That the jokes are not as funny now, the kids are not as clever That once there was a time when you were more in love with me Help me feel the same but not care if I don’t Tell me if I say the same thing twice And also tell me if I start to say the same thing twice   Please stop me if I start to get old If I start to dress according to the weather Tell me if you find me blindly doing what I’m told By some patronising middle aged receptionist called Heather Help me the same but not care if I don’t Tell me if I say the same thing twice And also tell me if I start to say the same thing twice   Music and Lyrics by TIM FIRTH